Sunday, September 30, 2007

This Is the Worst Vikings Team Ever

Two notes from Sunday's Vikings-Packers game:

1) The Vikings have clearly demonstrated themselves to be one of the worst four or five teams in the NFL, which isn't easy to do when you've got one of the best defenses in the last ten years. I was excited about the head coaching reign of Vice Principal Brad Childress for about five minutes, but now, clearly, the sooner the Childress era comes to an end, the better. Luckily, I don't think we'll have to worry about him winning just enough games to save his job, the way Mike Tice and Dennis Green always used to do. I can't support a coach who punts on 4th and 2 on the opponent's 40 yard line. That's just inexcusable (unless maybe there are fewer than two minutes left in the half, and the opponent has no time outs. But we're talking ten minutes left in the second quarter, people).

2) The Vikings wore gorgeous throwback uniforms which, by comparison, made their new uniforms look even worse (something I'd have wagered was absolutely impossible).

Just so we're completely clear: if you prefer this... to this... it means you're stupid. I'm sorry, but you are. Or, you're a little kid. You can't really blame little kids; they don't know any better. But, if you're in your early teens or beyond, and you prefer this... to this... you are stupid. You just are.

I've never matched your intensity regarding the uniforms. I always agree, mind you; it's just not my thing. The same way I wouldn't expect you to match my excitement for fantasies of strangling Julianne Moore.

But looking at your examples here, I'm staggered by the thought that someone is producing the throwback uniforms and helmets - all this expensive equipment - but the players only wear it for one game. It's like the yearly aggravation over Best Screenplay being the "Actual" Best Picture. If these outfits exist, and anyone who looks at them can tell they're better, why not just wear these?
The Vikings are indeed quite awful this year. Almost unwatchable. I usually try not to second-guess coaches, but what is more elementary than having your best players on the field during crucial moments? Adrian Peterson leads the NFC in rushing, was absolutely slaughtering the Packers defense, and he gets two carries in a game that was never a blowout? Asinine.

I do think there's a chance this could be Brad Childress' last year. Don't forget, they are lobbying hard for a new stadium and forcing fans and lawmakers alike to watch this trash isn't exactly good PR. If they finish 3-13 and have half of their games get blacked out due to the Metrodome not selling out, I can see the ownership making a change to get the fans back on his side.

I agree with most of your comments on the uniforms. Those throwbacks were sweet and I wish they wore them permanently. I can actually live with the current road white uniforms, but their home purple uniforms are beyond hideous.
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