Thursday, April 28, 2005

An Outsider's Perspective

I should have noticed this earlier, but, c'est la vie; Alicia has a fascinating account of her experience watching the NFL draft (scroll down to April 25. Actually, read her "Arrested Development" entry, then read the NFL draft one. In fact, read everything on her blog; it's really good).

Her brilliant observations about Aaron Rodgers on his cell phone could, I suspect, only have come from a non-football fan. Well done, Alicia.

Thursday, April 21, 2005

The Candidate Trap

Funny, but they didn't mention which party these two guys belong to.

Something tells me that if they were Republicans, though, it would have been prominently noted.

UPDATE (2:50 PDT) - They're Democrats. Shocking!

(note: I'm not saying that Republicans wouldn't do this; I'm sure that if George W. Bush had had the foresight to have been born with an identical twin, he'd be deploying him for some nefarious purpose or another even as you read this. I'm just saying that if they'd been Republicans, I wouldn't have had to Google the beejezus out of them to find out what party they belong to; the nice people at Reuters would have been more than happy to tell us)

Congratulations to the Santanas

I missed this yesterday, but, Johan Santana of the Minnesota Twins -- who has not lost a start since July 17 of last year, and as a lifelong Twins fan I feel like I deserve a tiny bit of credit for that -- and his wife had a baby last night (their second), just 45 minutes before Santana pitched against the Royals. Apparently, Yasmile Santana told her husband to go and pitch instead of staying with her at the hospital, and so he did.

Dude. I've only been married a year-and-a-half, and I know better than that.

Also, the Santana is from Venezuela, which brings up the question: when a rich Venezuelan baseball player has a kid, does he just send a few hundred grand to each drug cartel/criminal organization up front, or does he wait until the baby actually gets kidnapped?

Wednesday, April 20, 2005

Jane Fonda Attacked

Well, it's nice to know that the right-wing crazies aren't in any danger of falling behind their left-wing counterparts.

Tuesday, April 12, 2005

The Race Card

The NBA wants to institute a minimum age requirement of 20. Jermaine O'Neal of the Indiana Pacers, who came into the league at 18 but didn't start playing meaningful minutes until he was 22, thinks that's racist.

O'Neal said:

As a black guy, you kind of think that's the reason why it's coming up. You don't hear about it in baseball or hockey. To say you have to be 20, 21 to get in the league, it's unconstitutional. If I can go to the U.S. army and fight the war at 18, why can't you play basketball for 48 minutes?

Well, you do hear about an age limit in football, but apparently that's neither here nor there. Sure, it might be weird that at 18 you can join the Army but you can't join the NBA. But you can't get a drink or run for the U.S. Senate legally, either. At 16, you can legally drive your car to a movie theater, but you can't legally see an R-rated movie without a parent or guardian. That's life, Jermaine.

O'Neal didn't go to college, so his understanding of constitutional law might be less than perfect, but, I'm sure someone will challenge an NBA age limit in court. And after the Casey Martin ruling, in which the Supreme Court decided it had the jurisdiction to dictate the rules to a professional sports league, nothing would surprise me.

The racism claim is my favorite; O'Neal is suggesting, of course, the an age limit would only affect blacks, because only black 18-year-olds are good enough to play in the NBA. Which seems to me to be a bit... (wait for it) ... racist!

Monday, April 11, 2005

David Horowitz Attacked

Yet another right-wing speaker has been assaulted (albeit in a comical manner, which I suppose softens the blow a little) while speaking on a college campus.

You know, if you wake up in the morning and dedicate your day to eradicating even a whisper of dissenting thought, you don't have any right to whine and bitch when people start calling you "anti-freedom." Okay?

Friday, April 08, 2005

Paul Shirley "Blog"

Simmons has been pointing this out for a while, but, I finally went and looked at it; Paul Shirley of the Phoenix Suns kept a "blog" (it isn't really a blog; two years ago we would have called it an online journal, and that's really what it is) during a late-March Suns road trip.

It's unbelievable. Unbelievable that the NBA allowed him to do it, unbelievable that they allowed the Suns to keep it up (not because it's scandalous, but because it's just so... honest), unbelievable that Shirley had the balls to write the things he did knowing what John Q. NBA Player would think if he ever read it... basically, imagine if you or one of your buddies somehow snuck onto an NBA roster for a week. Then imagine what you'd write.

If you're a sports fan, I'd say it's worth a look. If you're not a sports fan, I'd say it's even more worth a look.

A couple examples, to whet your appetite:

Because I would, if there were such an option, fill in “Professional Basketball Player” on my insurance forms (as it is, I usually have to go with either “Self-Employed” or “Other”, which must raise eyebrows somewhere in the back room: “This guy must be either a drug-dealer or in the CIA.”), I do a fair amount of traveling.


On a further tangent, because this is how my brain works, Tom Gugliotta has the worst tattoo in the NBA. The barbed wire on the bicep is bad enough to put him in the running; the fact that it is the dreaded “I thought I could get away with not having it complete the circumference of my arm” type puts him over the top. It is like wearing a tie that is not only ugly, but is a clip-on to boot. Ugly is at least forgivable; the clip-on aspect makes it reprehensible.)


A Job Well Done

I was watching a rerun of Ed this morning (now on TBS! Watch!), and Thomas F. Wilson was guest-starring in this particular episode. I've noticed this before, but, once again I was floored by how much he now looks like 1985 Biff.

Incredible. Is there any way we can get the people who worked on those movies some Best Makeup Oscars? Retroactively, I mean?

Thursday, April 07, 2005

They Certainly Do

If you think Best Buy sucks, check this site out. Put a real spring in my step, it did.

Don't Vote For Pedro

Oh, Pedro. What are we going to do with you?

Explanation of Previous Post

I'm probably the only person on the planet who remembers this skit firsthand (including those who wrote and performed in it), but, years ago, I was watching Leno (no, I don't remember why), and it was just after the Daylight Savings Time switch (don't remember if it was fall or spring). They did a little skit in which the Tonight Show announcer, Edd Hall, was going through the day having forgotten about the time change.

So, a few wacky things happen to him, and, finally, he walks into some community center sort of building, looks at a sign that says "Edd Hall Fan Club Meeting, 5:30," does some sort of grin or thumbs up "take," and walks into the room.

The people in the room see him, become enraged, and start beating him. The camera goes back on the sign outside the room, back to the "Edd Hall Fan Club Meeting, 5:30" part of the sign, then tilts down to reveal, underneath, more words on the sign that we hadn't seen before: "People Who Hate Edd Hall Meeting, 4:30."

For some reason that struck me (still does) as one of the funniest things I'd ever seen. Since it was a Leno skit (I've got nothing against Leno as a person, and nothing against his show in theory, but, the "skits" they do are usually painfully lame) I assume they stumbled upon the comic genius inadvertently, but, still. Comedy gold is comedy gold, any way you slice it.

[I would have linked to an explanation or mention of the skit, by the way, but, to my knowledge, none exists. In fact, a Google search of "hate Edd Hall" yields zero results. Which; hey, good for Edd Hall]

Daylight Savings Time Extended?

Look like we might soon have two fewer months in which we need to worry about being late to our People Who Hate Edd Hall meetings.

Friday, April 01, 2005


I realize that the Pope's condition is not funny, and I wouldn't joke about it. I will make fun of Yahoo! News, however, because earlier this morning they had a headline that read "Pope Reportedly Dead," and, a few minutes later, their headline was "Pope's Condition Worsens."

I'm no Catholic, so I can't say for sure, but, I do think you might want to make sure and avoid mistakes like that when you're dealing with a story like this.

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